Not a Love Story.......

"I feel guilty of being with you, when I know I cannot be with you forever", he typed.  "I don’t want to be another sad chapter of your life, I don’t want you to go through the same pain you have already been through", he continued.

They met on a beautiful journey together. The journey was fun with the usual singing, dancing, bonfire and games.  They came back, settled in their routine life, but something was different. Her mornings started with a good morning text and she wore that smile for rest of the day. She started anxiously waiting for just that one text every morning which marked the beginning of her day, though she was already at work, when she received the text. They chatted whole day, pulling each other's leg, checked on each other and this went on.

Not meeting each other in every three to four days became inevitable. She loved cooking for him and he loved sitting in her living room, listening to old songs. This had become a ritual now. As soon as he came in, they played old songs on speakers, sat for hours , sometimes not a single conversation and other days chatting without a break. She felt the need of telling everything that happened in her life and he patiently listened sometimes pulling her leg. She cooked all his favorite dishes and waited for him to take first bite to know how it was, every single time they met. Everything went unsaid, no feelings expressed, it became a routine, a habit, a beautiful evening and a reason to be happy and look forward to life. Six months passed and they just grew to belong. 

Today she was not her usual self. She felt a need to be held, to be pampered, to be checked upon and to be reassured. The unsaid was said and the beautiful silence broken. She typed, " I miss you". They had never ever expressed their feelings before. She wrote, " I am missing home, I am feeling very low". He had never seen her this weak. He consoled her saying he would call her later that day. She waited. She cried. And then she waited again. Finally, she dropped a message, "It's a normal expectation from a close friend to be checked on when you know I am not feeling too great today. You dint even drop a single message. Don't call or message me now. Goodbye," and that was it. She kept her phone aside and cried her heart out.

The doorbell rang. She opened the door with teary eyes to see him standing there.  Her faith in their friendship was suddenly restored, her notion that no one cares broke and she let him in. Looking in his eyes she hugged him. She had never displayed this emotion before. She had never cried in front of him before. She had never hugged him with the longing of being held before. And she cried. He consoled her, wiped her tears and reassured her that everything was fine. She never felt this comforted before. She felt it was OK not to be strong sometimes, especially if you know, there is someone to whisper, "its OK", "you'll be fine" and wipe your tears.

They had dinner, listened to their favorite old music as a ritual and against her will to let him go, he left. She was sad that he left but more than that she was happy that he came. Traveled so far just for her. He will always be there. While she was smiling alone, she texted him as to why dint he stay. And the beautiful silence was broken. "I feel guilty of being with you, when I know I cannot be with you forever", he typed.  "I don’t want to be another sad chapter of your life, I don’t want you to go through the same pain you have already been through", he continued. "You need to overcome the need of me texting you, being there with you and missing me". A tear fell from her eye. 

The most curious thought would be why, "Why will she have to let go in the first place, if the feelings were mutual?"  She never had heart to ask. She never wanted to reason "why". Deep inside her she knew it all. The world has restrained us with compulsion of a name tag to every feeling, every emotion and every relation. You might feel alive with someone and yet fail to understand what it is, what should it be called and then the mind is clouded by right and wrong. No she was not wrong, they were not wrong but they were strong to accept the feelings they had for each other without giving it a label or restraining them because they could not relate it to a substantiated future. 

She smiled at her failure to reason with his unsaid reasons! All she knew was that for her, he will never be a sad chapter, she will never look for a name tag for the feelings she had and she will never feel guilty for feeling the way she did. Sometimes you meet someone and you feel that two of you at some level belong to each other. As lover's, as friends, as family or something entirely different. This was something entirely different. She cherished it as she believed in fate, co incidents and life!